Do you really want to know what I'm thinking about?

Author: lee (Page 55 of 135)

The kind of winter it has been

A new friend at work has just recently immigrated to Canada from Vietnam and was telling me today that he thought Canadians were crazy during the summer when he arrived. “Everyone is wanting to go outside all the time. I don’t understand it.” But now that he has lived through a record Canadian cold he has changed his mind. Now he understands. It’s only -6C right now and he was so happy. He said he didn’t have his jacket done up when he walked from the bus because it was so much warmer. And now he gets why everyone wants to go outside during the summer. “It’s so cold during the winter, now I understand. I will go outside so much during this summer.”

I feel like crap. I lost a friend last week.

A good friend died last week and I didn’t even go to his funeral. I just couldn’t bring myself to go and I feel badly about not just that. Primarily I feel bad because I didn’t make enough time for him when he was living.
We had been getting together every couple weeks and having lunch or coffee, and when we worked together we got together very often. We were friends more than colleagues. And then the holidays came around and I didn’t make time to see him. Too busy with other things. Life took over instead of plans. And then he had a heart attack and died before we could see each other again. And I feel awful. I couldn’t go to his funeral because I felt I would be two-faced; I make time to see him when he was dead and didn’t make time to see him when he was alive.

I miss my friend.

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